I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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