And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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