thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You pole danced in your parka.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
