Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
