Farmville is her only friend.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
