so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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