I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
