Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
