Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Sorry about my life...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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