Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
