scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
