Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
