theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
