Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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