It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
