Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
