I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
