yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
