Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
