If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
