All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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