how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
