Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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