No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
