This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
