Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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