I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
