okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
