New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Ketchup is God's man juice
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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