when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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