Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
