Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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