the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
