Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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