My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
