He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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