its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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