omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she smelled like a LAN party
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i out mim tonsoeep
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