We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
