I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
