i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You can't motorboat a personality
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
