Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
