I need help removing her.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
