I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
