wat bout pragnant strippers??
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
