I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
