Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im holly from the hills drunk
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i dont even know how to be here
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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