I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
