why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
