Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
