my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
