You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
