Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize