In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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