In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
