she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
