It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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