Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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