It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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