A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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