yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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