I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
