I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
