Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
