All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
