that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
